The Ching said I was becoming alienated, and, if I didn't reverse the process through calmness and gentleness, I would sink into misanthropy and ill-humor. Too late!
When I get depressed, I develop a negative self-image and just feel old and in the way. Just having to get a job-job to pay the bills, put me in a starving artist state of mind. Then came searching the labor market for positions. I really didn't want to do retail anymore, after 20 years of it in my life. Getting desperate, I took the first job I could get, and it didn't fit, or I didn't fit. I can count and do math well, but counting every item in a big-box store is a huge project. Reminded me of how old and slow I've become, and of working at Wal-Mart, under the same lights, with the same advertising blaring. Since I'm a pussy, I quit ASAP and enrolled in the jobs program for old coots.
Yes, there is training available for old farts, such as I, to update our job skills and job hunting techniques. Training will consist of working 20 hours a week, at minimum wage, for a non-profit or government agency in Missoula. I think I can handle that. There are a lot of non-profits I would like to work for. Any office that deals with the history of Missoula, or the current events, would be satisfying. Learning something new in media, publishing or broadcasting. There's opportunity for that and maybe a computer class, too. Oh boy, I'm excited at the prospects.
The fog is lifting, and I have something positive to put on the blog. Honestly, the counting job tore me down. I wasn't worth a shit for days. Now, I'm ready to do a little photography and practice my true craft. That's part of the Experience Works program, too. They try to put us old guys into jobs, which make us happy instead of miserable. I'm ready to blog again, and I have a bunch of photos almost ready to go.